How not to seek a job

Every now and then, I get messages from people interested in working at one of my companies and this is part of being a CEO. I read all such messages and most of times I reply and it did happen in the past that I ended hiring people as a result.

Every now and then, such messages are such a waste of time. Not only of my time, but also of the sender's time. Here is a screenshot of the latest one.

This is so wrong that I decided to post about it, as a kind of public service message. How many mistakes do you see there and how many could be avoided with minimal effort?

First of all, the typos. No spaces after dot does not look nice. I know this is a little detail but it is part of the first impression. There are standards, stick to them.

Second point: the text says that a copy of the documents has been attached to the email. Nice. But this text clearly has been recycled over and over again and it was sent to me... in a contact form, not an email. And that very contact form does not support sending attachments, so I don't have the said documents and no idea to check this person's profile.

Third point: are you really looking for "employment in any post"? Secretary? Cleaner? Data analyst? Sales? Marketing? Driver? CxO? If you want to look interesting to me, you must do you part of the work. Search for what the company is doing. Tell me what value you could add. Tell me how you think you could contribute. Not just "any job". This is a game of give and take, so give me at least anything to start with.

Fourth point: I'm glad you think my "institution" is reputable. However, it would be nicer if you could at least mention its name. Do you even know who you are writing with? I understand you try to optimise your efforts but this is way too much optimised. At this stage, I would be more likely to reply to someone sending me "job for me?" with attachments, at least it would be different, innovative and somehow fun. But this pure nameless copy and paste? Nope, do you homework and try to tell me what you could bring to my "reputable institution".

Final point: "hearing from me before long". Nope. After such a great message, you won't hear from me and trying to make me react quick, putting a tad of pressure with "before long"? 

Let me summarise:

1. Do your research and contact companies which match your profile.
2. Clearly state what kind of job you are after. It is ok to mention different ones and different levels but make sure those exist at the company you target.
3. Explain what value you can bring to the company. If you are new to the working world, it is ok to mention what you learned, how it would apply and to mention you are wanting to learn more.
4. It is ok to be formless, at least for me, may be not at largest companies, but watch you typography and contents.

This alone will bring you a long way. And in the words of Deadpool, job search should be done with "maximum effort"